Calcinator
In Ro-City, capital of the Ro-Planet, the Great Hall was packed with the leading ro-men. Upon the Great Stage, the Great Guidance, pre-eminent of all ro-men, thrust forth his thick hairy arm and pressed the big titanium nodule on the Ro-Viewer Control System. An enormous white horn suspended from the ceiling of the Great Hall gave birth to an equally enormous roseate bubble. This floated down a short way but remained far above the ro-throng. The Great Guidance gesticulated forcefully at his audience.
“Ro-men,” he began, his fulsome hollow voice filling the auditorium “what I am about to show you is data gathered from the planet Earth.”
There were hollow murmurings from the audience. The Great Guidance resembled all ro-men in that he had a powerful apelike body, covered in black fur. His head was encased in a metal helmet with an elliptical window to the front, and his face was enshrouded in white bandages as is the custom of the ro-men. The helmet was adorned with a pair of aerials to enhance the already prodigious ro-senses.
“This data was gathered by Ro-Man, our finest ro-man agent.” The Guidance gave a fierce motion and another ro-man, presumably the aforementioned individual, gained the stage.
“Thank you Great One,” he said, turning to the audience of rapt space apes. “I was stationed in a cave on the planet of the hu-mans. I focused the Dream Factor on a small hu-man and extrapolated what would happen should the Ro-Man Empire gain the ability to create the ultimate weapon and use it against those of Earth.”
More excitable murmurings arose which encouraged a frenzy of movement from the ro-man’s fisted arms as he affirmed: “Yes, ro-men, we are nearer to finding the missing element for our Calcinator Ray. That weapon that will make us conquerors of the universe, and the galaxy itself.”
The audience gave itself over to furious triumphant gesticulation, and Ro-Man the ro-man basked in the glory. The Great Guidance stepped in.
“Tell them what the Dream Factor discovered.” He commanded.
“Yes Great One. I entered the mindscape of this sleeping hu-man thus creating an alternate reality that existed only as long as he remained asleep. What you are about to see is a record of what would happen if I had invaded the planet Earth with the Calcinator Ray.”
All helmets turned to the giant bubble as it played out the dream recording in sound and pictures. It showed the ease in which a divided Earth could be conquered by a lone ro-man with the Calcinator Ray, the entire population destroyed except for a handful of people using their knowledge of science to remain undetected and unharmed by the Ray. They were eventually killed by Ro-Man but not before certain complications manifested themselves in the ro-man schedule of conquest.
The recording finished and the pink orb faded away. The ro-man stood thoughtfully, staring at the place the bubble used to be. The Great Guidance coughed.
“Now does anyone have any questions to put to Ro-Man?”
A number of furry arms shot up. The questions were generally about the efficacy of the Calcinator Ray and the resistance of the hu-men but there were others. One wanted to know why at the end of the mission in this extrapolated future, the Great Guidance saw fit to eradicate Ro-Man. Another wondered why Ro-Man had become fixated on the young female hu-man, displaying emotions not fitting for a member of the Ro-Man Empire. Ro-man’s antennae tingled with embarrassment.
“The recording is imperfect. I would not have behaved like that in reality and neither would the Great Guidance have destroyed me.” A quick look at the Great Guidance out of the corner of his faceplate did not inspire confidence.
“I will prove that this recording is flawed when I visit the Earth in reality. For it has been revealed that the element that we need for the precious Calcinator Ray has been discovered by the hu-men.” The assembled ro-men were stunned and Ro-Man was relieved.
“That secret which the hated Space Authority has long guarded from us has been synthesised on the hu-man planet. I will go to Earth and recover this element: solaronite. Then we shall be the only authority in the universe. We, the ro-men.” and he produced his wildest exultant flourish. To one side the Great Guidance rubbed his helmet pensively.
“And you will have two Earth days to do it or you will be destroyed” added the Great Guidance encouragingly.
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